Anonymous asked: you are incredibly attractive.
This is either my mum or my dog has learned to type
I’d like to go home, drink a box of wine, maybe take a warm bath and gently masturbate myself to sleep
Anonymous asked: how many girls do you flirt with at once?
Does whispering “I love you” under my breath at every hot girl I see count as flirting? If so, loads, hundreds, any girl with a good butt
That time my dad said I looked like soulja boy…
Roses are red, violets are blue, I wanna fuck you hard on the sink
Winter is when you find yourself using a bag of dog poop as a hand-warmer whilst walking your dog
Anonymous asked: do you have a lot of sex?
They don’t call me the giant panda for nothing…
WE LOVE COAT WEATHER
A man and his dog on the Overhanging Rock in Yosemite National Park, May 1924.Photograph by Educational-Bruce Photograph
This hurts my feet and my heart.
If masturbation is the work of the devil then I’m employee of the year