January 2012
35 posts
Anonymous asked: where are you from?
It’s official, I have run out of things to do on the internet.
I need to talk to you - the one sentence that has the power to make you remember every single bad thing you’ve done in your whole life.
No one cares about your new nail varnish, or your new hat, or the fact you just received a hardcore CD in the mail. There’s no need to thank the record label for the free stickers they sent you either. No one cares about pictures of your friends linking arms in a ‘crew-style’ photo or about your views on veganism or straight edge. When I rule the world I’m gonna cut all...
The sound of people eating makes me want to drive screws through my skull until the sound stops or I die.
Imagine having someone to talk to.
1 tag
I can’t decide whether I want to sleep, eat or die.
Every time I think about texting someone to meet up or even just to chat I start thinking about how much I hate them and it all leads back to me sitting in my onesie all day, explaining my situation to my dog as if he understands what I was saying.
For Emma (a cappella) by Bon Iver
For every life....
I’ll never understand how one person can do so many things wrong. I see people all the time making the right decisions and pleasing other people but when it comes to me, I can’t seem to open my mouth without making someone I hold close hate me. Sorry, everyone, for everything.
Now that I’ve grown up, I’ll soon leave my home. I’ll pack up the pictures of the ones I did know. I’ll never forget all the places I’ve roamed. Pennsylvania, the love you have shown. I do not know if god is real, or a lie. But oh well, thank god I’m alive.
I smell like my dog… Luckily, my dog smells like Japanese cherry blossom shampoo.
For the next three weeks I’m home from uni but none of my friends are. In light of this, I need a new temporary friend with the view to make things permanent. Just a few cinema trips, maybe the pub and some food every now and then should suffice. Let me know, I’m totally serious.
When you want to go to the cinema so you flick through your contact list and realise that you actually have no friends. That sucks.
And every moment I lose without you, fighting interference between my mind and the tip of my tongue, I am lost. Tripping over my words, over insanity, racking my every thought, drowning this conviction behind an apathetic mask. A numberless cigarette lit twixt between my fingers, burning like the fire that beauty held in your eyes, piercing me like a conscience, shattering the glass of memory...
Can people stop leaving me asks relating to my ‘self loathing’? There’s a difference between hating myself and hating everyone else. I’m not the problem, you are.
I’ll see you when we’re both not so emotional.
She’s Got You High by Mumm-Ra
Listening to the (500) Days of Summer soundtrack and remembering how alone I am.
All I want is a cute, hot, sexy girl that likes exactly the same things I do, that does stuff for me and lets me do nice things for her. A girl that lets me go round to her house to meet her family and become really good friends with them all. Someone that I never have to argue with because we agree on everything. Someone who will fulfill my need to be the small spoon once in a while. Someone that...
Falling in love with girls on the internet is a life choice that I have made and one that I intend to stick to.
Got stopped about 10 times taking Oliver for a walk by people wanting to stroke him. Bitches please, let me walk my dog.
Anonymous asked: why are you so depressed?
I think the speed at which I reply to texts instantly lets the other person know that I literally have no life.
I am so sick of absolutely everyone. Sometimes I feel people do things solely to get at me. I know that sounds pathetic but when you think you know someone and then they just do something completely out of character with no benefit to themselves, you can’t help but think that maybe that’s the reason? I dunno, maybe I’m being stupid but, to make sure it’s not just me,...
Auditioning for new friends!
Must enjoy: eating, sleeping, Brand New. Must not enjoy: everything else.
Deja Entendu is definitely in the top #1 greatest albums of all time.
Someone needs to talk to me before I literally kill myself.
I’ve got desperate desires and unadmirable plans. My tongue will taste of gin and malicious intent. Bring your back to the bar, get you out of the cold. My sober straight face will get you out of your clothes. They’re scared that we know all the crimes they’ll commit, and who they’ll kiss before we get home. I will lie awake, lie for fun and fake the way I hold you, let you...
December 2011
26 posts
I set aside the next few days to get my assignments done for uni but, as luck would have it, I am horrendously ill and am now going to drink my problems away meaning I probably wont get my work done. Why is the world so against me?
Who knew puppies slept for 15-20 hours a day? What a little shit.
I am all you’ve ever wanted, what all the other boys all promised.
I hate how other people make having fun look so easy.
We saw the western coast, I saw the hospital nurse the shoreline like a wound. Reports of lover’s tryst were neither clear nor descript. We kept it safe and slow, the quiet things that no one ever knows. I contemplate the day we wed, your friends are boring me to death. Your veil is ruined in the rain. By then you like to do without, there’s nothing new to talk about. Though our kids...
I don’t even want you back. I’d never want to risk something like that. I lost faith in myself, when I turned away from the one with the longest stretch of embracing arms to hold me. So now I’m all alone, ‘cause God grew too tired to fix the mistakes he made with love. I think his biggest mistake was making me.
It doesn’t take a genius to see I’m not really into this. Pushy invitations just aren’t my thing. But you’ve been making assumptions out of fleeting emotions so I’ll bury the hatchet and say what I needed to say. So easily embarrassed, cheeks bright as the sun. I’m the worst company to keep, teasing you down these city streets. With a smile going sideways I...
For Christmas, my sister’s boyfriend and I are buying each other records that we love ourselves, and that we think the other might also love. Naturally, I’m going out tomorrow to pick up a copy of Devil & God by Brand New for him and I really, really hope he’s getting me a copy of it too.
Currently signing up to dating sites. The early hours of the morning do terrible things to me.
I’m working on my backwards walk, walking with no shoes and socks. The time rewinds to the end of May, I wish we’d never met then but met today. I’m working on my faults and cracks, filling in the blanks and gaps. When I write them out they don’t make sense so I need you to pencil in the rest. I’m working on drawing a straight line and I’ll draw until I get one...
Taken the mattress off my bed so that, instead of sleeping right now, I can build a sweet fort to live in for the next month and a half.
I dropped you off and I headed home, I drove fast but I was all alone. My eyes bled as I travelled down the road. Then my thoughts left my tongue in speeches I had never known. My brain wonders in to happier places after wishing that I was dead. Grab this rope from my hands, I’ll grow up and try to be a man. Things aren’t going as planned. Control your eyes, I can see them wander when...